Beach love · Freedom · Struggles~ · Working at home · ~This Writing Life~

Doing the dreaded thing~

rana-sawalha-364253It is almost time for me to stop my passion…for the next 18 hours. I have to close my journal, my work-in-progress writing, and my blog posts and return to my home office for my ‘other’ job. I have been quite the complainer on this demand of my free time and I hesitate to admit I have been far from grateful for the paycheck it provides. While the amount is inadequate to provide a living, it is still the option that allows me to care for my old pets, stay at home which I prefer, and allows me the ability to avoid traffic, commuting, and late night driving.  But it is not something I am passionate about…this job….nope, not even a little.

I should be quite grateful, you see. I am trying to return to the basics. Be in the moment, be Buddha-like. I am embracing our life along the coast, with simplifying our routines and our lifestyle. From culling my clothes closet, to my kitchen shelves and deciding to eliminate all that I have not used nor need, I am finding a sense of focused direction that alluded me for years. I am electing to eat lighter, cleaner. I am walking my new neighborhood even with the scary dogs at the end of the street. I am choosing to not turn on the TV most days (I must do so one evening just to feel connected to the world-at-large) and I returning to my own true passion: writing.

I am also trying to build my own entrepreneurial business of transcription proofreading so that I can quit this ‘other’ job entirely. My most important focus, though, remains steadily on writing. I have goals set, notes falling out of my planners, and bookmarked chapter ideas. I intend to finish my novels, and my children’s books that are in limbo awaiting editing. These are now my magnetic north. Because now, I have become quite certain that if income must be made, I want to choose how.

In the past, my husband has done the heavy work in our self-employed contracting business. I did all the office details, but he provided the labor. Now, with our beach life a reality (check that off!), I want him to be able to truly explore the possibilities of something else altogether. Something that is not so labor-intensive, not so stressful. He wishes for a boat and long ago, I promised my books would provide that little dream for him.

And they will. I am determined.

And thus, I am grateful after all…to that job which I dread each day at 3:30pm…because it has allowed me to not only provide some grocery money but also made my desires bubble up to the surface and spurn me forward to change.

I have a countdown…a timer set in my heart and on my wallboard…to the day my writing pays our bills, covers our needs, and allows us the freedom we desire!

Now, back to work~



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