~This Writing Life~

Sometimes, I just gotta stand there…

IMG_4519 I love the birds in Florida. Varied and bold. Bold in color, flight, movement or .. size. This gray masterpiece stood silent, watching ..as I devoured my rather exquisite baklava one morning. He didn’t hover, didn’t entrench, just kept a steady vigil. Waiting.

He feels like my totem animal these days. Standing alone, away from the crowd (rather, introverted am I) and assessing options. I have never been one to find energy or acceptance within a group. Frankly, I am usually quite weary of the dribble that some group events produce.

Not all events are like this, but oh, so many. I much prefer to spend my days within the comfort of my home, puttering about as I clean and organize, cutting fresh flowers or juicy fruit chunks. I prefer family over crowds, dogs over cats (although I do love my daughter’s), warmth over chilled, and swimming over skiing.

Overall, I like the solitude. I can plot, plan, comprehend, with less distraction.

The self time for getting my day going, my head right. It is difficult at times to keep the political stress at bay, to absorb and understand the tragedies across our world, to determine to do what I can without undoing myself.

That is the trick:  To understand that just standing there can be enough some days. To listen, to absorb, to breathe….and let it all just be.

To not fall into the depression that I call “the black void” that can threaten my calm, my energy, my perception of this day’s reality. I have to work my way through those demons that I can’t fix, and focus on how I need to live my life. To write away the troubles, the confusion, and to find the passion in words that pull and push me toward mystery and humor.

I write and today, I am working on the dream of making mystery and humor come alive, lift my spirits, direct my energy and build the reality I choose. In my little corner, with its white desk and fat chair, I am writing…No matter what…standing steady at my work.

Standing steady, like the crane.

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