SOOOO… my husband wants a bunker. Yes. Even as we live in Florida and his rather elaborate blueprints feature underground assemblages. He is animate this time, and frankly, I am quite unsure how to feel about it. The man has always wanted something similar since he prefers anything ‘off the grid’, protective, and apparently without running water. I have lived with his peculiar preferences for years, as he considered living in the frozen north (I refused after he told me that if he died while hunting for caribou, just to leave his body there and hike out with my three young kids), to buying an old tugboat to redo for living aboard (this I nixed once I realized he was watching ‘Waterworld‘ for the 10th time and taking notes).
Now…he is designing a bunker. I have been reminding myself that this is just who he is, that he is happiest being totally ‘prepared’, and that…(well, often)…that I love this man. And his ways. In honor of his spirited hopes that this will provide protection in the events of which we do not speak….I have given him my list.
- Bathroom and yes, water.
- Kitchen,pantry, proper appliances, refrigeration and a coffeepot….. and yes, water.
- LIGHT..I don’t care how, but this is a must. I will not live as a mole. Well, I would in the most dire of circumstances but HE would not like Me during it.
- Storage for my books, books and more books…and yes, a comfy bed with proper linens and not something that anchors to a chain from the ceiling.
- Candles, air freshening miracle equipment, and oh yes, internet.
- Real food, and not just that 25-years-guaranteed-stuff in his 25-years-guaranteed tubs that are stacked in our garage.
- Proper disposal of waste…no explanation needed.
“Are you kidding? None of this is going to matter if the world goes to crap” he says.
“Gotcha,” I reply.
“We can’t even do half this stuff,” he muses.
“Noted,” I say.
“Crazy woman,” he shakes head, moves toward garage door. And then, “Will the place have to be wallpapered too?”
“Of course not! That would be crazy! Paint the thing, ” I say, and then because I can’t help myself……. ” No. 634, in Soft Survivalist Barely-There Gray. I think it is by BuildMeABunker Paints.”
The bunker is still in its planning stages…