It was one of those days…the kind that you mull through. When the day begins with less than a stellar start. Like when coffee runs all over your counter-top from the rather new, rather expensive machine that promised to behave. Lovely.
Finding myself in a quandary…which bill to pay, which task to tackle, and always, always trying to weigh the odds….which is more important?
Wishing for more sleep and to feel more RESTED. The flu hit hard here, and left me both fuzzy brained, and unwilling to move from comfort of couch. It has been two weeks, and I still find myself dragging about. As if I were twenty years senior…and without motivation. Not good….certainly not.
Yesterday’s boggles fell throughout the 24 hours allotted for such things. The dogs wouldn’t eat the new food, the housecleaning chores that I take pleasure in (I know, I am one of those women…) were piling up and I simply didn’t care….a package that leaked, a toilet clogged, the ongoing annoyance of knowing I must pull weeds from the front bed…a dinner ruined.
I so wanted to claim a day from working in the customer service industry that I have taken on as a temporary way to get through this transition. Oh, but I am fortunate, I am…I work at home, and believe me, I do not take that lightly…I love being right here…doing my thing.
That is the key, though…doing my thing. Which is writing. Working on my blog, my novel, and my new ventures. Puttering about my home and office, with fresh coffee in hand, and likely, talking to myself…as I plan, and ponder. To stop and breath through some yoga moves when I choose, and to wander about the back yard with pets underfoot and birdsong about. To be able to contemplate my characters’ antics, create a scene of tranquility or mayhem within the pages awaiting my inspired muse.
The job though, this one I must do now…is not my thing. It is not even remotely my thing…and subjecting myself to this for eight hours till early evening drains my energy like nothing else has. Not even moving, not even yard-work of the worse sort, not even dealing with plumbing disasters or roofing problems. Not even a hurricane….
I did show up at the job, and did my time. I wrote down the affirmations that I repeat throughout the day…changing them as I feel the angst or drive…and I got through it…and I didn’t self-combust, fall into a sobbing mess, or scream at the closet doors..I managed…as I am sure many of you do, until you can land back in front of your writing.
But today, even as I must work again…I am buoyed by sleeping a solid 7 hours (thank you Nyquil) and the knowledge that Saturday will appear in a short time. I am adopting an attitude of strong and fierce will because I must. I will get well again, and I will have energy and I will be writing full-time soon, crafting story, killing characters, saving the world…..planning and pondering…
…and I am writing first thing this morning….spill the guts here, crank out a page or three in the novel, pet the dogs, plan a yummy soup for lunch….and pick up the tattered bits of tissue that seem to be everywhere from that sojourn on the couch….