Struggles~ · ~This Writing Life~

~Back to being accountable~

IMG_3893Once upon a time~ I lived in a cute little cottage, small but quite charming. This was my porch…My day was filled with visions of seashells, ocean tides, and palm tree fronds. I had this dream, which I coaxed and cossetted for years (18 yrs, to be exact) that one day I would be surrounded by Florida sunshine and I would be…..writing my novels.

Yes, here we go again….if any of you are like me. I am one of those that journals daily, fills spirals with daily insights. I am one of those that has planners (more than I want to admit to) in every room…and yes, I am one of those that does Nanowrimo, and then doesn’t edit those drafts..

I admit it, I am one of …those. Those who say “I WANT TO BE A WRITER.” I want to spend my mornings in my dream-office where sunshine floats in vintage windows, and my shelves are filled with the books I love. I want a thick rug on polished wooden floors, a bleached pine desk with a big drawer that holds everything. I want a fat lamp, a cozy chair, and even a quilt for an afternoon nap (should the muse require one). Oh, the self-help books that instruct us to envision the perfect job, the perfect office, the perfect life…that perfect day in your perfect life…I have a stack of them. Do you?

I fell off the wagon, folks. Big time. I am not proud. The excuses, oh the excuses. I had a million of them. Moving, packing, school, flu, repacking, moving, injury, repacking, moving, settling (we hope, gawd). Injury, broken nail, insomnia, new job I hate, company, etc etc. And throw in, the desire and plan to GO to the OCEAN at least once a month (since it is literally just down the road and across the bridge).

And I haven’t written. I have been bad here on the blog. I have turned wayward. Lost my mojo, my confidence, my courage….

I am here now, with a new accountability. I awoke one morning to the realization that my days were slipping into each other, without a spark of my writer-dream. I picked up my pen and my spiral and wrote for two hours. TWO hours. It felt good. This is the job I want, this is the desire and the dream. This is the reason I came here…to be inspired by what I see, what I feel, and to WRITE. words. lots of words.

I don’t know if there are any of you that are going through this same creative void, but I hope you will join me in trying again, to begin again. After all, November is around the corner and Nano awaits..

Here I come…


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